Hiawatha's Valence Bonding

Physics – Physics and Society

Scientific paper

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15 pages of RevTeX, 14 eps figures

Scientific paper

There is increasing circumstantial evidence that the cuprate superconductors, and correlated-electron materials generally, defy simple materials categorization because of their proximity to one or more continuous zero-temperature phase transitions. This implies that the fifteen-year confusion about the cuprates is not fundamental at all but simply overinterpreted quantum criticality--an effect that seems mysterious by virtue of its hypersensitivity to perturbations, i.e. to sample imperfections in experiment and small modifications of approximation schemes in theoretical modeling, but is really just an unremarkable phase transition of some kind masquerading as something important, a sheep in wolf's clothing. This conclusion is extremely difficult for most physicists even to think about because it requires admitting that an identifiable physical phenomenon might cause the scientific method to fail in some cases. For this reason I have decided to explain the problem in a way that is nonthreatening, easy to read, and fun--as a satire modeled after a similar piece of Lewis Carroll's I once read. My story is humorous fiction. Any similarity of the characters to living persons is accidental. My apologies to Henry W. Longfellow.

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